Blackstar's Choices
by Amberbydreams
Summary: Blackstar loved her. She loved Blackstar. So how could he decide what to do? Very slight strong language. Oneshot.


Despite his exhaustion, Blackstar paced in the leader's den. He scented Littlecloud sitting outside, waiting to be let in so he could look after the new leader's wounds. Even though Blackstar had gone to camp from Fourtrees and then to moonstone and back, he still refused to get treated. There was too much to think about; too much discovery and responsibility in his mind to settle down. His pacing started to slow, limping heavily on an injured front leg, when Runningnose burst into the den.

"That's it," the grumpy medicine cat growled, glaring at Blackstar. "You've been on your feet far too long. Lie down and let me take care of your wounds before you bleed to death, you mouse-brain!"

Blackstar visibly flinched at Runningnose's words, and flopped down heavily on the ground, laying his head over his forepaws. He was a mouse-brain. How could he do all the things he had done recently? He still remembered the look on her face the day he killed Stonefur. She had called him a mouse-brain that day as well. It was the day he realized she loved him. _Such a mouse-brain! _Blackstar mentally scolded himself.

She had been near him ever since she was three moons old. She was a new apprentice by Brokenstar's standards, and Blackfoot's second apprentice. He had been deputy at that time, and he barely noticed when she swelled up in pride every time he said she was improving. He barely noticed how she tried to throw off the WindClan warrior that had nearly taken his life when they drove the pathetic clan out. He barely noticed how she, when she was five moons old, left her family and defied ShadowClan to follow him and Brokenstar when they were driven out. She guarded him when they fought against ThunderClan, full of kittypets and undeserving half-clans and-

_Stop it. _He needed to change. If for nothing else, for her. The look on her eyes when he fought with all his strength, taking down warriors with deathblow after deathblow, when he killed in cold blood… A shiver ran down his spine. Runningnose looked up, concerned. "Is something hurting you?" he asked.

Blackstar closed his eyes, pinning back his ears. "I'm fine," he growled, relaxing his muscles again. He tore vaguely at a piece of grass. Runningnose went back to his work, glancing at Blackstar every once in a while with an odd expression. _Worry? Are my wounds really that bad? _Blackstar wondered, glancing at the frail medicine cat. Runningnose glanced up again. When their eyes met, Runningnose flinched and looked down again. _No, _Blackstar realized. It wasn't worry. It was fear. Runningnose feared his new leader.

Littlecloud was acting like this at Moonstone. He kept glancing behind himself at Blackstar while on the way in. Blackstar hadn't noticed at the time, he was too fearful himself. Stonefur walked those tunnels, after all. Who knew if the tom would try and take revenge, once and for all. Blackstar had thought, like Littlecloud did, that StarClan would reject him. That he would have to leave the clans, and take life as a loner. He wondered if Russetfur would follow him. But StarClan accepted him, though by the look on most of their faces, they were none too ecstatic.

_Fine. If StarClan doesn't want to confide in me, then I won't confide in them. _He _would _change. He would be a leader ShadowClan would be proud of, even if StarClan wasn't. He would be a leader she would be proud of; proud of, even though she saw him at his worst low.

_---_

_Blackfoot stood by the bonehill, smirking cruelly as Darkstripe was beaten by a starved half-clan. He looked up to bonehill as he heard his leader's voice._

_"Finish him."_

_Smirking, he stood up, approaching the smaller cat. He embodied all things impure, everything Blackfoot hated: weaklings, unsure, wavering cats who can't decide where their loyalties lie. Stonefur took a couple steps back as he approached. Blackfoot bunched his muscles slowly, and, before the smaller tome could react, lunged forward, pinning the half-clan under his paws. Darkstripe jumped up from nearby, pinning down Stonefur's haunches. _

_Blackfoot's ear's twitched as he heard a distinct gasp in the crowd. _Her. _His stomach twinged slightly as he saw her horrified expression, but ignored the feeling completely. He wrenched his gaze from her to Stonefur. All his uneasiness left in a heartbeat, and he sneered at the smaller tom, leaning down, sinking his teeth in the small throat…_

_It was over. Stonefur's chest stopped heaving with breath, but as Blackfoot looked down on his still face, he saw a cold glare, a challenge, a never-ending grudge on the cat's face. A grudge that carried over to StarClan._

_Blackfoot tried to ignore the dropping feeling in his chest. He vaguely heard Tigerstar declare the meeting over. He shook himself vaguely, telling himself that it was stupid to feel guilty. _

_Blackfoot headed for his den, not bothering to wipe the blood off his paws or face. Suddenly, a smaller, red-brown figure stepped in front of him: Her. Her eyes were watery, and her expression was a mixture of shock and horror. Blackfoot stared at her for a moment, trying to shove away the guilty feelings welling up inside of him._

_"What…" Her voice cracked. Blackfoot tried to cut off her eye contact, but somehow couldn't stop staring at her eyes. "What did you _do?_"_

_Blackfoot shifted uncomfortably, finally breaking eye contact. "I did what my leader told me to." He growled through gritted teeth. "What is it to you?" He dared to glance back at her emerald eyes._

_She stored at him for a moment. "I…" She closed her eyes, tears running down her face. "I…" Her voice broke once again, and they stood, staring at each other._

_"I love you!" She burst out. She lunged forward, burying her face in his chest. Blackfoot recoiled slightly in surprise. After a moment, he felt her tears start to soak his fur, washing away the blood. _

_Blackfoot looked at her, noticing for the first time that her once-gleaming red coat was dull. She was exhausted from all the emotional trauma that she had gone through, being under Tigerstar and Brokenstar's rule._

_Suddenly, Blackfoot realized what all had been going on around him for all these years; all the hate, the pain, the corrupt ambition. His paws started to shake for a moment, but he determinedly settled himself. He leaned down, resting his head on her shoulders gently._

"_Don't worry," he mewed softly. "I'll protect you. I love you, Russetfur." _

---

Runningnose's voice brought him back to the present. "So, Blackstar," his voice was still cautious, wavering slightly. "Do you have any idea who you would put as deputy?"

Blackstar cringed, tightening all his muscles. "No idea," he meowed, fighting to keep his voice steady. "There's still a lot of sunlight left. I was working on it when you demanded I lie still and get poked and prodded until I bleed out the rest of my life blood." _Like any of you would mind if I died. _

Runningnose didn't respond. Blackstar set his head back down onto his paws. Actually, he did have an idea on who to have as his next deputy. He needed someone he could trust, and someone he could trust to trust him. That left very few cats, and it left even less cats if you counted that he needed someone the rest of the clan would trust to be right. He knew that his clan didn't trust him. Hell, even StarClan didn't trust him. No wonder, with Stonefur among them. _Stonefur. _Blackstar felt black hate welling up in himself again, and he forced himself to calm down.

In any case, he knew who had to be deputy. She was the only possible candidate. That didn't mean he _wanted _to do that. After all, there was one other cat it could possibly be, maybe. Blackstar stood up suddenly. He needed to talk to her. Runningnose spat out a few words, but Blackstar cut him off.

"Never mind how much blood I loss, I'm _fine! _Get Russetfur in here, now." He pinned his ears back, glaring at the medicine cat. The fur was pricked along his spine. Runningnose dipped his head and scurried out of the den. Blackstar returned to pacing.

After a short while, Russetfur poked her head in the den. Blackstar stopped pacing and sat down at the back of his den. "Come in."

Russetfur had a couple cobwebs and some marigold on one paw. "Runningnose told me to see if you'd let me dress your wounds." She smiled teasingly at him. Blackstar purred.

"Fine. Paranoid medicine cat." He grumbled, but she just grinned, applying some of the cobweb to Blackstar's front leg where he was scratched.

"So, why did you want me?" Russetfur asked without looking up. Blackstar sighed heavily.

"I need to ask you something." Blackstar's ears twitched, a knot was quickly tightening in his stomach.

Russetfur paused in her medicinal work. She stepped back and sat up. "What?"

Blackstar gulped. "I know that this would… put a hole into our relationship…" he paused awkwardly. Russetur just flicked her ears, looking slightly uneasy. "But I really can't think of any other cat that can do the job right, who I can trust, so…" Blackstar again paused, gulping one last time. "Russetfur, will you be my deputy?"

Russetfur's eyes widened slightly, but she smiled, closing her eyes. She stepped forward, once again pressing her head into his chest.

Blackstar rested his head on her shoulders for a moment, but stepped backwards, braking their embrace. "Then, you will be my deputy?"

Russetfur laughed, flicking his ear with her nose. "Of course. I don't care if we have kits or not, just being close to you is good enough. And I can't imagine any two cats being closer than a leader and a deputy." She brushed her fur against his. "Don't worry," she murmured. "I'll protect you."

A/N:

Aww! I love BlackstarxRussetfur, It's my OTP This idea has been floating around in my head. I like how it turned out, especially the flashback. I've discovered that my favorite character to write as is Blackstar.

Disclaimer: I do not own Warriors. I just really love it. I have trouble coming up with witty disclaimers.

Please review!


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